Thank you Andrew :) you are da man. No sleepless nights here. Maybe a couple nights with less hours than ideal (my fault entirely) but never sleepless.
Dan, I appreciated how you moved the conversation away from motivation and toward biology. Because we often ask leaders to “control their emotions” as if it were simply a matter of discipline. But depleted brains make different decisions. Better self-regulation starts long before the difficult conversation. Because in reality it starts with how well we’ve managed our cognitive and emotional resources. I think your point that habits create resilience, rather than resilience creating habits, deserves more attention.
One of the things I’m eager to teach with this content is how to make these habits. The simple ones that work and the ones that are, frankly, horseshit.
Houses aren’t built during hurricanes. And we would all do well to build the infrastructure that serves us during times of need.
Cheers and thank you so so much for the careful and attentive read of my essay. :)
Thanks, Dan. I really enjoyed the essay. The “houses aren’t built during hurricanes” analogy is going to stay with me, because it captures exactly why self-regulation can’t start when the difficult conversation begins. Looking forward to reading more about how you teach people to build that infrastructure.
The only thing I disagree with in this article is asking people to go to be and then subscribe. Subscribe first, people, and then go the f*ck to bed. 😆
In all seriousness, this is a fantastic article. Funny, well-researched and points to the overarching theme of you can’t take care of anything if you can’t even take care of yourself.
I’m also a quick mover and have been so guilty of reacting to hastily and I’ve had to learn the hard way that gets us nowhere. Add that predisposition to no sleep and I’m a nightmare.
Thanks for bringing awareness to this, because once leaders are aware, they can start to build better habits around sleep.
You’re right! You’re right. There’s an order of operations to these things. I will go edit that after a proper thank you!
You’re my people! And we all share the need for proper rest and rejuvenation. It looks different for us all but the need is the same.
Another thing I struggle with is acting on a prioritized list instead of following my mental stimulation around like a dog and pony show. Substack articles here, vibe coding project there, bbq recipes way over there… oops! I forgot to reply to those important emails I set three alarms for.
There are many steps to getting our workforce engaged. I think you touched on the biggest ones in our podcast. And I think over the next few years that question and theme is going to keep coming back up.
Brilliant and truly impactful! The part about the new manager’s canon event—mistaking empathy for helping—really hits home, almost painfully so. You’ve beautifully used primary literature to show that protecting your own resources isn't selfish; it's a vital way to prevent burnout from spreading and affecting your team. Your honest sharing about your struggles with impulse control adds a heartfelt touch that makes this review even more genuine. Yet here I am nodding off as I do something I truly love. Fantastic job, Dan! Remind me to share a story about a sleep issue with you in five years, when we can talk privately.
I think we’ve all been there with the new manager event! And it’s a confusing time for everyone because instinctively we are compelled to help. But what does the help look like when we aren’t given the right tools or training? It hits home for me too and I’m glad you found some of yourself in this piece.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect and have room to grow. My hope is that by admitting my own delta and showing I will do the work, I am worthy to ask others to do the same. that’s the hope, at least.
Thanks for the close read Jay. Very happy to have found your Timberline community and your own work. Mountains are a big part of my life.
I’ll set a reminder in my calendar to reach out in five years.
You hit on why I talk about leadership endurance vs. resilience @Dan. Resilience is about bouncing back, and we have all learned to do that. The differential is having endurance strategies like the athletes you mention so we can keep doing the hard stuff, including making decisions that have significant organizational consequences. One of my weekly newsletters was focused on the idea that self-care isn't the right language because it sounds fluffy, and it needs to mean so much more.
Excellent and thorough piece of work, hope it didn’t give you sleepless nights!!
Thank you Andrew :) you are da man. No sleepless nights here. Maybe a couple nights with less hours than ideal (my fault entirely) but never sleepless.
Well im off for an early evening nap 😂
Good. Well earned I bet. Especially with all the reluctant DIY in your life right now. Cars, etc,
Dan, I appreciated how you moved the conversation away from motivation and toward biology. Because we often ask leaders to “control their emotions” as if it were simply a matter of discipline. But depleted brains make different decisions. Better self-regulation starts long before the difficult conversation. Because in reality it starts with how well we’ve managed our cognitive and emotional resources. I think your point that habits create resilience, rather than resilience creating habits, deserves more attention.
You’re speaking my language @Patricio Cuesta.
One of the things I’m eager to teach with this content is how to make these habits. The simple ones that work and the ones that are, frankly, horseshit.
Houses aren’t built during hurricanes. And we would all do well to build the infrastructure that serves us during times of need.
Cheers and thank you so so much for the careful and attentive read of my essay. :)
Thanks, Dan. I really enjoyed the essay. The “houses aren’t built during hurricanes” analogy is going to stay with me, because it captures exactly why self-regulation can’t start when the difficult conversation begins. Looking forward to reading more about how you teach people to build that infrastructure.
Wonderful Patricio. I'm happy to have you along for the ride. Cheers :)
The only thing I disagree with in this article is asking people to go to be and then subscribe. Subscribe first, people, and then go the f*ck to bed. 😆
In all seriousness, this is a fantastic article. Funny, well-researched and points to the overarching theme of you can’t take care of anything if you can’t even take care of yourself.
I’m also a quick mover and have been so guilty of reacting to hastily and I’ve had to learn the hard way that gets us nowhere. Add that predisposition to no sleep and I’m a nightmare.
Thanks for bringing awareness to this, because once leaders are aware, they can start to build better habits around sleep.
And thanks for the shoutout 😉
You’re right! You’re right. There’s an order of operations to these things. I will go edit that after a proper thank you!
You’re my people! And we all share the need for proper rest and rejuvenation. It looks different for us all but the need is the same.
Another thing I struggle with is acting on a prioritized list instead of following my mental stimulation around like a dog and pony show. Substack articles here, vibe coding project there, bbq recipes way over there… oops! I forgot to reply to those important emails I set three alarms for.
There are many steps to getting our workforce engaged. I think you touched on the biggest ones in our podcast. And I think over the next few years that question and theme is going to keep coming back up.
Cheers Brandi. :)
Haha I feel that in my core! Like when a dog sees a squirrel...😅
Brilliant and truly impactful! The part about the new manager’s canon event—mistaking empathy for helping—really hits home, almost painfully so. You’ve beautifully used primary literature to show that protecting your own resources isn't selfish; it's a vital way to prevent burnout from spreading and affecting your team. Your honest sharing about your struggles with impulse control adds a heartfelt touch that makes this review even more genuine. Yet here I am nodding off as I do something I truly love. Fantastic job, Dan! Remind me to share a story about a sleep issue with you in five years, when we can talk privately.
I think we’ve all been there with the new manager event! And it’s a confusing time for everyone because instinctively we are compelled to help. But what does the help look like when we aren’t given the right tools or training? It hits home for me too and I’m glad you found some of yourself in this piece.
I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect and have room to grow. My hope is that by admitting my own delta and showing I will do the work, I am worthy to ask others to do the same. that’s the hope, at least.
Thanks for the close read Jay. Very happy to have found your Timberline community and your own work. Mountains are a big part of my life.
I’ll set a reminder in my calendar to reach out in five years.
I would love that! You have a strong talent, Dan! Keep writing! ~ Jay
Aye aye Captain! 🫡
Thank you for the encouragement. I promise I will.
You are always welcome! ~ Jay
Brilliant. Could not be more well timed. Already shared with someone who needs exactly this advice (and supporting evidence) *today!*
And wow look at all those beautiful footnotes.
A share is the highest honor I can be bestowed. Thank you for reading and for thinking of someone who can use it :) <3
I learn from the best. Even when they don’t know that class is in session.
You hit on why I talk about leadership endurance vs. resilience @Dan. Resilience is about bouncing back, and we have all learned to do that. The differential is having endurance strategies like the athletes you mention so we can keep doing the hard stuff, including making decisions that have significant organizational consequences. One of my weekly newsletters was focused on the idea that self-care isn't the right language because it sounds fluffy, and it needs to mean so much more.