Love the call-out on jargon and the lack of rigor in the field. Genuinely needed.
Though the "execution light" filter gave me a bit of pause. I've never fired anyone myself, never managed up in a corporate org. Never even worked in corporate in general, and that's actually part of why my clients love working with me. Instead, I've got twelve-plus years studying human behavior, change psychology, and what actually makes people shift behavior from the inside-out. But by your metric, I probably land on the do-not-read pile. Fair enough 🙂 I just find it interesting that the people helping leaders navigate those hard moments with grace sometimes haven't sat in the seat themselves.
And, of course, love that you name-dropped Frankl, as he's a personal favorite.
@Meleah Rose !!! thanks for the close read and your thoughts. always a pleasure learning from you.
You know, the customer is who we’re here to help. My opinion about experience doesn’t mean anything in the leans of what someone finds valuable and is willing to pay for. If they got what they needed that’s what matters, right?
To my point on experience. The air traffic controller, the plane mechanic, and the pilot both probably all have useful advice about how to run an aiport even though neither has eachother’s backgrounds. And the diversity in thought is what’s important here.
I have a mentor right now who vastly shadows my own experience. And the things I learn from him is like having a time machine. I would have to spend years and years learning and fucking up in order to know the things he teaches me from experience because he’s been there, tried that. In my mind ( and I would simply love to have a philosophical conversation on this) te air traffic controller is going to have useful and needed input, the mechanic is the only one we can listen to on plane integrity and is critical to smooth ops… but if I was going through a rough storm? I’d want a pilot who’d flown through storms before and knew the wind like their own breath. I wouldn’t care if my mechanic said “oh don’t worry dan. These planes are rated for much more than this!!”
Granted, we’re not flying into a storm we’re implementing software or helping lead the structure change of a small org or convincing Craig from accounts payable that reading Radical Candor by Kim Scott is worth his time.
I need another cup of coffee. Hopefully this made sense. And I do, sincerely, appreciate your thoughts and read :)
There’s a swathe of leaders (I think often millennial) that are very alive to the importance of EQ and are lapping up every leadership book, course, development opportunity they can. They’ll do that with or without help.
The big challenge is the rest (probably majority) of middle managers who simply just want to get their job done in the easiest way possible and don’t really understand why their people skills aren’t working for them or why they’re not being promoted.
How do we reach those people? How do you increase the self awareness and EQ of people for whom it doesn’t come naturally?
I agree that’s where the storytelling becomes key. Those people aren’t looking at “leadership” books, they’re probably looking at “how do I get better at my job” books or, maybe “Surrounded By Idiots” (love that book). Or more likely they feel they don’t have the time to look at any books at all.
So access to more “stuff” about good leadership is never going to be as effective as bringing them new ideas and experiences that highlight how things could be different for them with small, simple, seemingly quite manageable changes in their day to day.
Thanks for being more brutally honest about the bs in this space, Dan! Really enjoyed the read!
Man… I love this so much. If I’m reading it right there’s two big ideas in here.
The people who could use our help most won’t seek us out and don’t know we’re an answer for their problems.
The stories, relatable content, that meets people where they are at in life, and asks for small change (without asking them to read a research dense textbook) is where we can have an impact with most people.
And I would whole heartedly agree with both of those points and say that as soon as I find out the answer to #1, I will have solved a problem I’ve been thinking about and chasing for years now. I suspect, as I’ve learned from my dear friend Jay, that the answer is in making friends with such people and showing them such unwavering kindness and empathy that it begins to rub off on them. I naively hope I can find a way to do this faster during our corporate leadership trainings. We’ll see. I have to try either way.
For #2 - I agree. And my solution for this is so far is just to build a company with my co founder where we’re pumping out content about this from a variety of angles and sources. Our hope, is that if we stay grounded in the topics we believe in and focus on tools and tips that people will find free and easy value from some of the content we’re putting out and hopefully that will make a difference. I’ve never done this before so sometimes it feels like screaming into the void. And substack is simultaneously a community of extremely smart, fun, and like minded individuals and also it doesn’t exist outside of my computer.
So… I guess to respond fully… I agree, I think you’re absolutely right. and I’m going full steam ahead no matter what and I bet I’ll know more about both of these topics in a couple years. :)
Fab summary! #1 is frustrating and I agree with your thoughts on solution but the need to find a way to scale. #2 I completely relate and share the mission!
Dan, the Gilderoy Lockhart comparison made me laugh because we've all read that leadership book, 250 pages of buzzwords and somehow not a single takeaway you can use on Monday morning. I also agree that leadership deserves the same rigor we expect from other disciplines. Experience matters, but experience paired with research is what allows ideas to be tested, challenged, and improved. At the same time, I think the best leadership writing finds the balance between evidence and narrative. Research tells us what tends to work; stories help us understand why it matters and how to apply it when real people, messy situations, and imperfect decisions enter the picture. You might enjoy my book, If It Works... Keep Doing It. I wrote it with a similar philosophy: strip away the jargon, focus on practical leadership lessons, and leave readers with ideas they can actually apply rather than just admire.
Mr. Burgess! Thank you so much for giving this a read and for letting me know about your book. I would be honored to check it out. I shall add it to my reading list. You should know though, I’ve been dreadful at my book club lately. The only think I manage to finish reading are all the to do lists I keep making and not finishing.
In the mean time, I have followed you, and I look forward to reading your thoughts and blogs in my feed. If there’s alignment, let’s talk further :)
Cheers and thank you for reading. welcome to the updraft.
Interesting. There is a lot I follow. I tend to agree that books aren’t going to do much. The real work is starting to embody who you want to be as a leader. If you want to be more patient, go stand in the longest line at the grocery store. If you want to practice following, let your kids make the decisions for the day. People think they can ‘think’ themselves to leadership. It doesn’t work that way. I have found that the best avenue for growth is connecting with oneself - yes awareness. And, getting real intimate in how unprocessed emotions are running your leadership.
Andrea! what a compliment that you read my article and that it sparked some discussion and thinking. I’m honored. thank you for the share here.
I agree that the inner work is the hardest and often the most avoided and misunderstood. Who looks at a journal prompt about how they feel that day and thinks… yippee!
I’m curious… if someone asked you how they could build more self awareness what would you tell them they should do? What would your advice be?
You have a lot of very compelling points here. I fully agree that “Atypical leaders aren’t able to be themselves at work because the corporate hierarchy wasn’t built for them. It was built for white males.” I’m a woman who has spent the last 25+ years in tech. I’ve had to fire someone, I’ve changed culture with long term impact, and as a Chief of Staff to a CRO - I definitely know how to manage up. And now I’ve built a company dedicated to creating a new generation of woman leaders who want to change the system - and still lead with values. I write about these topics often - would love to hear your perspective.
Thanks for sharing, and agree on the issues you raised. There a lot of bs narratives out there that fall apart as soon as you start to dig deeper.
But do most of the talented, aspiring leaders really look out for the best data to help them grow, and become the "right" leaders? Following narratives that sound just right is more convenient. Leadership that trains the next generation while never having learned what it means to lead themselves makes the problems persist ...
First, regarding your marriage proposal, l should let you know that I did, in fact, read the article. This was probably a strategic error on your part because now I'm responding to the ideas instead of booking the honeymoon.
I enjoyed this, particularly because it wasn't really an argument against leadership theory. It felt more like an argument against certainty.
One thing I've noticed, both in self-help and psychology, is that ideas often become most dangerous when they become most popular.
Not because they're wrong, but because repetition gives them an aura of obviousness.
People stop examining them and start reciting them.
Your section on authenticity stood out to me for that reason. "Be yourself" sounds wise until you start asking what it actually means in practice. Then all kinds of complications emerge.
I also appreciate your insistence on evidence, references, and intellectual humility. There seems to be a growing assumption that a compelling personal story is a substitute for a well supported claim. They're not the same thing.
Mostly, though, I found myself nodding along to the broader impulse behind the piece. The willingness to stop, point at a popular idea, and ask, "How do we know this is true?"
That's a question I wish more people asked.
Also, if I find myself unexpectedly back on the market due to my sugar addiction… I'Il keep your application on file.
Great article, Dan. I sent it to a friend who manages for a wind turbine company. I think this will resonate.
I get too excited in the moment and tend to fumble the execution. I’m a self proclaimed “ideas guy’. Imagination - strong. Strategy - lackluster. Brands better than “manic adhd guy.”
Thank you for taking the time to read my piece. And thank you again for providing honest thoughts and validating my feral desire to connect the art of human emotion to the scientific literature. And one final thank you for sharing my writing. That is the highest of compliments and I do not take it lightly.
Yes. I am on a vendetta against authentic leadership. Have been ever since I started reading critiques against it’s core principals and claims in recent literature. I think the original intent is there, but the claims are too broad to back it up meaningfully and the self-help gurus, just like you say, mask a lack of execution experience with self-knowingness.
Apologies for botching the honeymoon. I was thinking nordic ski into a remote airbnb in northern scandanavia and pack in charcuterie, laptops, and shitty self help books and spend the whole time unpacking our trauma and writing substack content roasting cultural icons. I give you permission to steal that idea and use it with your husband when you’re 1 year sugar free.
I appreciate you filing my application as a future back up. I was born to be a bench warmer. I’d settle for a collaboration together. I’ve been wanting to write with new people and expand my thinking. If you’re not tired of writing about journaling we could do a short article on questions to journal about to discover your own set of personal values? Then how to make decisions aligned with your values? This is something I’ve been pondering a lot and it may be a good thing to have on paper.
I laughed at "imagination strong, strategy lackluster." That's probably a more honest leadership assessment than most 300-page business books.
Also, your honeymoon proposal somehow became even more romantic with the addition of laptops and trauma processing. Nothing says passion quite like unpacking attachment wounds while critiquing self-help literature in a remote Scandinavian cabin.
As for the backup husband application, your status remains unchanged. Pending. My ability to remain married is currently being determined by a bag of chocolate covered gummy bears.
And honestly, I'd be interested in the values idea. Most people think they know their values until two values collide and they have to choose between them. That's usually where the interesting information lives.
I'd definitely be open to a collaboration. It sounds like we approach a lot of these topics from different angles, which is usually where the best conversations happen.
I loved this piece and you articulated so many of the issues I see with leadership training and content broadly. I really want to highlight this part "Narratives need to be relatable to the aspiring manager and the middle manager.
It’s not a secret, senior leaders are typically the most resistant to change. Many I run into aren’t looking for training on how to boost their emotional intelligence capacity. Despite EQ being the #1 determiner of leader success (Goleman, 1998. Riggio, 2008)."
You also mention that you're doing this work primarily to change the world in 10 years or more when all of these middle managers looking for growth and leadership development move into senior leadership themselves.
Do you see the thirst for knowledge in middle management something that is integral to who they are as people or is it something that arises from the positions they find themselves in without formal training? Ideally, I want to believe that those currently in middle management and looking to develop their leadership and EQ skills are doing so because they truly desire becoming better leaders and making a difference.
But I admit that I do struggle to wrap my head around the idea that the same senior leaders who currently resist change and additional training were always like this. Or is it that the demands of senior leadership change people and how they view themselves. I'd love to hear your take on this as I think you've hit the nail on the head with this post.
woah woah woah Rebecca! I’m not even on cup #2 of coffee this is a bad-ass comment.
First of all, subscribed.
Second of all, let’s be friends.
Thirdsies, The thirst of middle management and the lack of growth mindset in senior leaders.
Honestly? Im projecting. I have been a developing leader just like everyone else and when I was going through hard times I regulated by listening to audiobooks about leadership and management and self help. I looked for tools that could help me same-day with my shitty bosses who disregulated my nervous system so poorly I was in therapy for years to get back to a confident baseline.
I like to think that the people who are around my age and years of experience hunger for something better. something more meaningful. some fate of leadership that’s not fucked up and associated with selling your soul, beating your wife/huz, raping kids, starting wars for funzies, or just be a shitty human to those in your charge.
There’s a lot of studies in decision making around the leaders who are successful. And one of the most common decision making forms is this kind of innate decision making based only on their previous knowledge and experiences. And their decisions are so good they seemingly cannot fail in consequential ways over extended time horizons.
This is for the current top of the top leaders we know and think about. Anyways. Generationally there’s expectations of them from what they thought a good leader was… that they need to have the answer, project strength, cultivate an aura of certainty… all that.
I think their personal image rides on not seeming emotional because in their day emotional was a bad thing. Not having the answer made you stupid, and mental health had all sorts of negative connotations.
That’s changing with younger generations.
Are the more experienced leaders completely beyond help as a rule? No.
But I’m not under any false hope that these sorts of cultural changes in corporate America will happen quickly.
HMU if you want to talk further. I’m currently open to collaborations and am recruiting guests for my companies’ podcast. <3
"Part of the issue with leadership as a study is that if we want people to see it as a hard skill, we need to treat it like one."
Not sure why leadership skills are often referenced inside a discussion of frameworks and principles. If we want leadership to be seen as skills, shouldn't the conversation dramatically shift toward behavioral research and behavioral practice?
This struck a chord. Leadership advice is everywhere, but volume doesn't equal value. The challenge isn't finding another framework or model. It's separating useful insight from content that sounds convincing but rarely holds up in practice.
Facts, Ash. Glad this found you and resonated. It takes years of experience to build the skill of looking at abstract jargon and being able to find the leadership practical lesson in there. Our field is great at replicating the BS, not great at distilling the lesson for our middle- and aspiring- leaders out there who are low-mileage.
I think I pissed a few people off with this post. Which is good! I want other thought leaders to feel challenged to be better than where we’re at. And to know that, even if it’s just for me, the bar is higher.
I wish our field was more about helping people with tools and skills than profiting off ethereal entertainment rituals. Alas. Such is the state of modern media.
As a guy who has (quite recently) written an article about clarity over motivation... I cringed when I read "Anyone who uses the word Clarity, Alignment, or Authentic gets a raised eyebrow from me."... AND, as someone who genuinely just wants a chance to find emerging (or existing) leaders who I can help succeed, I find myself trying to weed through the bullshit of which you speak in order to find a way to look, sound, feel, different from the rest of the noise. How do those of us with the "chops" (30+ years in pub. ed., led departments, buildings, districts) find those to whom we can make a difference?
RSB - you raise a good point. Me and my personal preferences of jargon will get me into trouble one day. And there are smart people, with more experience than me, who have the same end goal as me, and putting up a barrier between me and them over word choice isn’t a watertight strategy.
I think others will read my work and will think some of it is bs, too. Emotional intelligence doesn’t really land well with the people I want to work with the most.
I don’t know if I have a perfect answer on how we get to those people… but I do know this. In the past 8 months since starting this venture I have met people who have been unequivocally supportive, enthusiastic, and on board. As an ultra-runner my mantra is “as long as I don’t stop, I can’t loose” and therefore I, maybe naively, believe that if I show up every day, do the work I can each day, that I’ll get where I want to go. Not if, when.
This was an incredibly refreshing read. I appreciated how grounded this felt in lived leadership experience. The discussion around toxic authenticity, jargon, emotional intelligence, and research-backed leadership carried both intellectual rigor and real-world practicality. My science, healthcare, clinical research side says "Amen."
Sharp, honest, and deeply relevant work. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Awe! Monica! Thank you for such a close read of a piece I’m proud of and such a thoughtful comment.
I’m deep in the weeds on what I think is right and having someone with your background and experience validate my thinking reassures me I’m on the right path and lends my thoughts credibility.
Few, if any, are lucky to get such support from well-studied and accomplished authors on the internet. I appreciate you.
Dan, the EQ argument is strong. I'd push it one step further.
I wrote about Mustafa Suleyman's intelligence framework a few months back. His point was that AI has already commoditized factual intelligence and is now actively developing emotional tone. Simulated EQ at scale.
That makes EQ the floor, not the ceiling.
The leaders worth developing right now need SQ. What isn't said. The decision that happened before the meeting. Trust that a simulation can't replicate.
EQ gets you in the room. SQ determines what actually happens there.
"But authenticity without accountability quickly collapses into narcissism."
You already had my attention with the references to Bourdieu and Frankl, but this line really stayed with me.
I think a lot of aspiring leaders are overloaded with leadership jargon and recycled frameworks, while what they/we (?) actually need is concrete experience in emotional intelligence, self-regulation, conflict navigation, and accountability.
You can’t "copy-paste" authenticity into any situation.
That’s exactly why emotional intelligence matters: knowing how to read a room, adapt to the people in front of you, and communicate accordingly without losing yourself in the process.
Too much leadership content teaches people how to sound "self-aware" instead of how to genuinely develop self-awareness.
Really appreciated the honesty and nuance in this piece.
@Andrew Wallbridge if i’m not mistaken you have a new logo! Looks awesome, Andrew. Really glad we’re rowing in the same direction. It’s easier knowing I’m not alone in my thoughts.
Love the call-out on jargon and the lack of rigor in the field. Genuinely needed.
Though the "execution light" filter gave me a bit of pause. I've never fired anyone myself, never managed up in a corporate org. Never even worked in corporate in general, and that's actually part of why my clients love working with me. Instead, I've got twelve-plus years studying human behavior, change psychology, and what actually makes people shift behavior from the inside-out. But by your metric, I probably land on the do-not-read pile. Fair enough 🙂 I just find it interesting that the people helping leaders navigate those hard moments with grace sometimes haven't sat in the seat themselves.
And, of course, love that you name-dropped Frankl, as he's a personal favorite.
@Meleah Rose !!! thanks for the close read and your thoughts. always a pleasure learning from you.
You know, the customer is who we’re here to help. My opinion about experience doesn’t mean anything in the leans of what someone finds valuable and is willing to pay for. If they got what they needed that’s what matters, right?
To my point on experience. The air traffic controller, the plane mechanic, and the pilot both probably all have useful advice about how to run an aiport even though neither has eachother’s backgrounds. And the diversity in thought is what’s important here.
I have a mentor right now who vastly shadows my own experience. And the things I learn from him is like having a time machine. I would have to spend years and years learning and fucking up in order to know the things he teaches me from experience because he’s been there, tried that. In my mind ( and I would simply love to have a philosophical conversation on this) te air traffic controller is going to have useful and needed input, the mechanic is the only one we can listen to on plane integrity and is critical to smooth ops… but if I was going through a rough storm? I’d want a pilot who’d flown through storms before and knew the wind like their own breath. I wouldn’t care if my mechanic said “oh don’t worry dan. These planes are rated for much more than this!!”
Granted, we’re not flying into a storm we’re implementing software or helping lead the structure change of a small org or convincing Craig from accounts payable that reading Radical Candor by Kim Scott is worth his time.
I need another cup of coffee. Hopefully this made sense. And I do, sincerely, appreciate your thoughts and read :)
There’s a swathe of leaders (I think often millennial) that are very alive to the importance of EQ and are lapping up every leadership book, course, development opportunity they can. They’ll do that with or without help.
The big challenge is the rest (probably majority) of middle managers who simply just want to get their job done in the easiest way possible and don’t really understand why their people skills aren’t working for them or why they’re not being promoted.
How do we reach those people? How do you increase the self awareness and EQ of people for whom it doesn’t come naturally?
I agree that’s where the storytelling becomes key. Those people aren’t looking at “leadership” books, they’re probably looking at “how do I get better at my job” books or, maybe “Surrounded By Idiots” (love that book). Or more likely they feel they don’t have the time to look at any books at all.
So access to more “stuff” about good leadership is never going to be as effective as bringing them new ideas and experiences that highlight how things could be different for them with small, simple, seemingly quite manageable changes in their day to day.
Thanks for being more brutally honest about the bs in this space, Dan! Really enjoyed the read!
Man… I love this so much. If I’m reading it right there’s two big ideas in here.
The people who could use our help most won’t seek us out and don’t know we’re an answer for their problems.
The stories, relatable content, that meets people where they are at in life, and asks for small change (without asking them to read a research dense textbook) is where we can have an impact with most people.
And I would whole heartedly agree with both of those points and say that as soon as I find out the answer to #1, I will have solved a problem I’ve been thinking about and chasing for years now. I suspect, as I’ve learned from my dear friend Jay, that the answer is in making friends with such people and showing them such unwavering kindness and empathy that it begins to rub off on them. I naively hope I can find a way to do this faster during our corporate leadership trainings. We’ll see. I have to try either way.
For #2 - I agree. And my solution for this is so far is just to build a company with my co founder where we’re pumping out content about this from a variety of angles and sources. Our hope, is that if we stay grounded in the topics we believe in and focus on tools and tips that people will find free and easy value from some of the content we’re putting out and hopefully that will make a difference. I’ve never done this before so sometimes it feels like screaming into the void. And substack is simultaneously a community of extremely smart, fun, and like minded individuals and also it doesn’t exist outside of my computer.
So… I guess to respond fully… I agree, I think you’re absolutely right. and I’m going full steam ahead no matter what and I bet I’ll know more about both of these topics in a couple years. :)
Fab summary! #1 is frustrating and I agree with your thoughts on solution but the need to find a way to scale. #2 I completely relate and share the mission!
Dan, the Gilderoy Lockhart comparison made me laugh because we've all read that leadership book, 250 pages of buzzwords and somehow not a single takeaway you can use on Monday morning. I also agree that leadership deserves the same rigor we expect from other disciplines. Experience matters, but experience paired with research is what allows ideas to be tested, challenged, and improved. At the same time, I think the best leadership writing finds the balance between evidence and narrative. Research tells us what tends to work; stories help us understand why it matters and how to apply it when real people, messy situations, and imperfect decisions enter the picture. You might enjoy my book, If It Works... Keep Doing It. I wrote it with a similar philosophy: strip away the jargon, focus on practical leadership lessons, and leave readers with ideas they can actually apply rather than just admire.
Mr. Burgess! Thank you so much for giving this a read and for letting me know about your book. I would be honored to check it out. I shall add it to my reading list. You should know though, I’ve been dreadful at my book club lately. The only think I manage to finish reading are all the to do lists I keep making and not finishing.
In the mean time, I have followed you, and I look forward to reading your thoughts and blogs in my feed. If there’s alignment, let’s talk further :)
Cheers and thank you for reading. welcome to the updraft.
Absolutely Dan and thank you for the add. I look forward to reading your new feeds!
Interesting. There is a lot I follow. I tend to agree that books aren’t going to do much. The real work is starting to embody who you want to be as a leader. If you want to be more patient, go stand in the longest line at the grocery store. If you want to practice following, let your kids make the decisions for the day. People think they can ‘think’ themselves to leadership. It doesn’t work that way. I have found that the best avenue for growth is connecting with oneself - yes awareness. And, getting real intimate in how unprocessed emotions are running your leadership.
Andrea! what a compliment that you read my article and that it sparked some discussion and thinking. I’m honored. thank you for the share here.
I agree that the inner work is the hardest and often the most avoided and misunderstood. Who looks at a journal prompt about how they feel that day and thinks… yippee!
I’m curious… if someone asked you how they could build more self awareness what would you tell them they should do? What would your advice be?
You have a lot of very compelling points here. I fully agree that “Atypical leaders aren’t able to be themselves at work because the corporate hierarchy wasn’t built for them. It was built for white males.” I’m a woman who has spent the last 25+ years in tech. I’ve had to fire someone, I’ve changed culture with long term impact, and as a Chief of Staff to a CRO - I definitely know how to manage up. And now I’ve built a company dedicated to creating a new generation of woman leaders who want to change the system - and still lead with values. I write about these topics often - would love to hear your perspective.
I have sent you a DM!
Thanks for sharing, and agree on the issues you raised. There a lot of bs narratives out there that fall apart as soon as you start to dig deeper.
But do most of the talented, aspiring leaders really look out for the best data to help them grow, and become the "right" leaders? Following narratives that sound just right is more convenient. Leadership that trains the next generation while never having learned what it means to lead themselves makes the problems persist ...
First, regarding your marriage proposal, l should let you know that I did, in fact, read the article. This was probably a strategic error on your part because now I'm responding to the ideas instead of booking the honeymoon.
I enjoyed this, particularly because it wasn't really an argument against leadership theory. It felt more like an argument against certainty.
One thing I've noticed, both in self-help and psychology, is that ideas often become most dangerous when they become most popular.
Not because they're wrong, but because repetition gives them an aura of obviousness.
People stop examining them and start reciting them.
Your section on authenticity stood out to me for that reason. "Be yourself" sounds wise until you start asking what it actually means in practice. Then all kinds of complications emerge.
I also appreciate your insistence on evidence, references, and intellectual humility. There seems to be a growing assumption that a compelling personal story is a substitute for a well supported claim. They're not the same thing.
Mostly, though, I found myself nodding along to the broader impulse behind the piece. The willingness to stop, point at a popular idea, and ask, "How do we know this is true?"
That's a question I wish more people asked.
Also, if I find myself unexpectedly back on the market due to my sugar addiction… I'Il keep your application on file.
Great article, Dan. I sent it to a friend who manages for a wind turbine company. I think this will resonate.
I get too excited in the moment and tend to fumble the execution. I’m a self proclaimed “ideas guy’. Imagination - strong. Strategy - lackluster. Brands better than “manic adhd guy.”
Thank you for taking the time to read my piece. And thank you again for providing honest thoughts and validating my feral desire to connect the art of human emotion to the scientific literature. And one final thank you for sharing my writing. That is the highest of compliments and I do not take it lightly.
Yes. I am on a vendetta against authentic leadership. Have been ever since I started reading critiques against it’s core principals and claims in recent literature. I think the original intent is there, but the claims are too broad to back it up meaningfully and the self-help gurus, just like you say, mask a lack of execution experience with self-knowingness.
Apologies for botching the honeymoon. I was thinking nordic ski into a remote airbnb in northern scandanavia and pack in charcuterie, laptops, and shitty self help books and spend the whole time unpacking our trauma and writing substack content roasting cultural icons. I give you permission to steal that idea and use it with your husband when you’re 1 year sugar free.
I appreciate you filing my application as a future back up. I was born to be a bench warmer. I’d settle for a collaboration together. I’ve been wanting to write with new people and expand my thinking. If you’re not tired of writing about journaling we could do a short article on questions to journal about to discover your own set of personal values? Then how to make decisions aligned with your values? This is something I’ve been pondering a lot and it may be a good thing to have on paper.
I laughed at "imagination strong, strategy lackluster." That's probably a more honest leadership assessment than most 300-page business books.
Also, your honeymoon proposal somehow became even more romantic with the addition of laptops and trauma processing. Nothing says passion quite like unpacking attachment wounds while critiquing self-help literature in a remote Scandinavian cabin.
As for the backup husband application, your status remains unchanged. Pending. My ability to remain married is currently being determined by a bag of chocolate covered gummy bears.
And honestly, I'd be interested in the values idea. Most people think they know their values until two values collide and they have to choose between them. That's usually where the interesting information lives.
I'd definitely be open to a collaboration. It sounds like we approach a lot of these topics from different angles, which is usually where the best conversations happen.
I loved this piece and you articulated so many of the issues I see with leadership training and content broadly. I really want to highlight this part "Narratives need to be relatable to the aspiring manager and the middle manager.
It’s not a secret, senior leaders are typically the most resistant to change. Many I run into aren’t looking for training on how to boost their emotional intelligence capacity. Despite EQ being the #1 determiner of leader success (Goleman, 1998. Riggio, 2008)."
You also mention that you're doing this work primarily to change the world in 10 years or more when all of these middle managers looking for growth and leadership development move into senior leadership themselves.
Do you see the thirst for knowledge in middle management something that is integral to who they are as people or is it something that arises from the positions they find themselves in without formal training? Ideally, I want to believe that those currently in middle management and looking to develop their leadership and EQ skills are doing so because they truly desire becoming better leaders and making a difference.
But I admit that I do struggle to wrap my head around the idea that the same senior leaders who currently resist change and additional training were always like this. Or is it that the demands of senior leadership change people and how they view themselves. I'd love to hear your take on this as I think you've hit the nail on the head with this post.
woah woah woah Rebecca! I’m not even on cup #2 of coffee this is a bad-ass comment.
First of all, subscribed.
Second of all, let’s be friends.
Thirdsies, The thirst of middle management and the lack of growth mindset in senior leaders.
Honestly? Im projecting. I have been a developing leader just like everyone else and when I was going through hard times I regulated by listening to audiobooks about leadership and management and self help. I looked for tools that could help me same-day with my shitty bosses who disregulated my nervous system so poorly I was in therapy for years to get back to a confident baseline.
I like to think that the people who are around my age and years of experience hunger for something better. something more meaningful. some fate of leadership that’s not fucked up and associated with selling your soul, beating your wife/huz, raping kids, starting wars for funzies, or just be a shitty human to those in your charge.
There’s a lot of studies in decision making around the leaders who are successful. And one of the most common decision making forms is this kind of innate decision making based only on their previous knowledge and experiences. And their decisions are so good they seemingly cannot fail in consequential ways over extended time horizons.
This is for the current top of the top leaders we know and think about. Anyways. Generationally there’s expectations of them from what they thought a good leader was… that they need to have the answer, project strength, cultivate an aura of certainty… all that.
I think their personal image rides on not seeming emotional because in their day emotional was a bad thing. Not having the answer made you stupid, and mental health had all sorts of negative connotations.
That’s changing with younger generations.
Are the more experienced leaders completely beyond help as a rule? No.
But I’m not under any false hope that these sorts of cultural changes in corporate America will happen quickly.
HMU if you want to talk further. I’m currently open to collaborations and am recruiting guests for my companies’ podcast. <3
Cheers
"Part of the issue with leadership as a study is that if we want people to see it as a hard skill, we need to treat it like one."
Not sure why leadership skills are often referenced inside a discussion of frameworks and principles. If we want leadership to be seen as skills, shouldn't the conversation dramatically shift toward behavioral research and behavioral practice?
Hey Admired leadership! Thanks for the comment here. So what exactly is the question here?
This struck a chord. Leadership advice is everywhere, but volume doesn't equal value. The challenge isn't finding another framework or model. It's separating useful insight from content that sounds convincing but rarely holds up in practice.
Facts, Ash. Glad this found you and resonated. It takes years of experience to build the skill of looking at abstract jargon and being able to find the leadership practical lesson in there. Our field is great at replicating the BS, not great at distilling the lesson for our middle- and aspiring- leaders out there who are low-mileage.
I think I pissed a few people off with this post. Which is good! I want other thought leaders to feel challenged to be better than where we’re at. And to know that, even if it’s just for me, the bar is higher.
I wish our field was more about helping people with tools and skills than profiting off ethereal entertainment rituals. Alas. Such is the state of modern media.
As a guy who has (quite recently) written an article about clarity over motivation... I cringed when I read "Anyone who uses the word Clarity, Alignment, or Authentic gets a raised eyebrow from me."... AND, as someone who genuinely just wants a chance to find emerging (or existing) leaders who I can help succeed, I find myself trying to weed through the bullshit of which you speak in order to find a way to look, sound, feel, different from the rest of the noise. How do those of us with the "chops" (30+ years in pub. ed., led departments, buildings, districts) find those to whom we can make a difference?
RSB - you raise a good point. Me and my personal preferences of jargon will get me into trouble one day. And there are smart people, with more experience than me, who have the same end goal as me, and putting up a barrier between me and them over word choice isn’t a watertight strategy.
I think others will read my work and will think some of it is bs, too. Emotional intelligence doesn’t really land well with the people I want to work with the most.
I don’t know if I have a perfect answer on how we get to those people… but I do know this. In the past 8 months since starting this venture I have met people who have been unequivocally supportive, enthusiastic, and on board. As an ultra-runner my mantra is “as long as I don’t stop, I can’t loose” and therefore I, maybe naively, believe that if I show up every day, do the work I can each day, that I’ll get where I want to go. Not if, when.
Dan,
This was an incredibly refreshing read. I appreciated how grounded this felt in lived leadership experience. The discussion around toxic authenticity, jargon, emotional intelligence, and research-backed leadership carried both intellectual rigor and real-world practicality. My science, healthcare, clinical research side says "Amen."
Sharp, honest, and deeply relevant work. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Monica
Awe! Monica! Thank you for such a close read of a piece I’m proud of and such a thoughtful comment.
I’m deep in the weeds on what I think is right and having someone with your background and experience validate my thinking reassures me I’m on the right path and lends my thoughts credibility.
Few, if any, are lucky to get such support from well-studied and accomplished authors on the internet. I appreciate you.
Dan
I am thrilled we have connected.
Me too :)
Dan, the EQ argument is strong. I'd push it one step further.
I wrote about Mustafa Suleyman's intelligence framework a few months back. His point was that AI has already commoditized factual intelligence and is now actively developing emotional tone. Simulated EQ at scale.
That makes EQ the floor, not the ceiling.
The leaders worth developing right now need SQ. What isn't said. The decision that happened before the meeting. Trust that a simulation can't replicate.
EQ gets you in the room. SQ determines what actually happens there.
But ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for this in depth article.
"But authenticity without accountability quickly collapses into narcissism."
You already had my attention with the references to Bourdieu and Frankl, but this line really stayed with me.
I think a lot of aspiring leaders are overloaded with leadership jargon and recycled frameworks, while what they/we (?) actually need is concrete experience in emotional intelligence, self-regulation, conflict navigation, and accountability.
You can’t "copy-paste" authenticity into any situation.
That’s exactly why emotional intelligence matters: knowing how to read a room, adapt to the people in front of you, and communicate accordingly without losing yourself in the process.
Too much leadership content teaches people how to sound "self-aware" instead of how to genuinely develop self-awareness.
Really appreciated the honesty and nuance in this piece.
Hi Annabelle :)
Thanks for the support and the close read. <3
Yes yes yes - I think the jargon dilutes our attention away from the hard work required to raise our EQ skills.
Well put on “sounding self aware vs being self aware” I think that hits my point exactly.
Sharing my raw thoughts is uncomfortable and kind of scary, I’m really glad they are well received and they are landing well for you :)
100% @Dan Korus. That’s why I wrote Leader’s Labyrinth to cut past all the BS.
@Andrew Wallbridge if i’m not mistaken you have a new logo! Looks awesome, Andrew. Really glad we’re rowing in the same direction. It’s easier knowing I’m not alone in my thoughts.
Hi @Dan Korus . Yes, we’re definitely on the same page. The logo? Had it for ages, better than my old rather wrinkly face 😂
That’s awesome - good to see the substack evolving, then. We’re growing. This is good.
Hey now! Wrinkles are a sign of wisdom.
😂 I keep telling myself that! 😂 we should jump on a call one day, explore any synergies.