How to Write a Viral Leadership Note on Substack
All you need is opposable thumbs and two dice.
Okay team, here it is. The ultimate recipe to write a viral leadership note on Substack.
All you need to do is pick one of the templates below.
Then fill in the blanks with the words from the list below. For best results, roll dice!
I roll a 20-sided die for each category of word in the viral mad libs template. You could also go crazy style and use two 10-sided die. If you don’t have twenty or ten sided dice… you need cooler friends. The kind that are into rolling dice. Specifically to slay foe and cast spells. Anyways, a random number generator (which doesn’t actually exist btw but we can pretend the simulations are enough) will do just fine.
That’s it! Here’s some examples, your templates, and your word bank!
Examples (so you know it works)
(using template 3 and a 20-sided die)
Radical Candor is the ultimate Strategic Imperative.
We don’t just Optimize teams; we Incubate human potential.
Our Psychological Safety is the engine; the Traction is the fuel.
Here’s another sample.
A Hyper-growth phase is upon us.
Optimize your Roadmap now, or witness your own Accountability crisis.
We are the Game-Changers of the new era.
And one more time for fun.
A Paradigm Shift is upon us.
Operationalize your Core Competencies now, or witness your own Bottleneck.
We are the Disruptors of the new era.
This is too hilarious. One more.
The Roadmap is dissolving.
We must Streamline our Agility to anchor our North Star.
Adapt or evaporate. The Bottom Line waits for no one.
Fantastic! Good luck, team.
Templates
The [Category 1: Strategy Word] is dissolving. We must [Category 2: Action Word] our [Category 4: Innovation Word] to anchor our [Category 1: Vision Word]. Adapt or evaporate. The [Category 5: Management Word] waits for no one.
Stop seeking [Category 2: Action Word]. Start engineering [Category 4: Innovation Word]. The [Category 5: Result Word] is the only [Category 1: Strategy Word]. In the age of [Category 4: Innovation Word], precision is the only currency.
[Category 3: People Word] is the ultimate [Category 1: Strategy Word]. We don't just [Category 2: Action Word] teams; we [Category 4: Innovation Word] human potential. Our [Category 3: Culture Word] is the engine; the [Category 5: Result Word] is the fuel.
A [Category 4: Innovation Word] is upon us. [Category 2: Action Word] your [Category 1: Strategy Word] now, or witness your own [Category 5: Result Word]. We are the [Category 4: Innovation Word] of the new era.
From [Category 5: Management Word] to [Category 4: Innovation Word]. This is the path of the [Category 1: Strategy Word]. We are no longer managing [Category 2: Action Word]; we are architecting [Category 1: Vision Word].
Here’s some bonus hard-mode ones. Extra points if you work-in AI.
“In an era defined by [Disruptive Technology], leadership is no longer about [Random Word 1]—it’s about [Random Word 2]. To truly [Random Word 3], we must shift our [Random Word 2] from linear output to [Random Word 4] impact. If you aren’t currently [Random Word 5] your leadership, you aren’t just standing still—you’re regressing.”
The future does not arrive; it emerges. Leadership is no longer the management of [Random Word 1], but the orchestration of [Random Word 2]. To thrive in tomorrow, one must first deconstruct the [Random Word 3] of today. Align or dissolve.”
Velocity is a vanity metric. [Random Word 1] is the only truth. Most leaders are drowning in the [Random Word 2] of the present; the virtuoso seeks the [Random Word 4] of the future. Do not optimize for [Random Word 2]—optimize for [Random Word 1].
Word bank
1. The Strategy & Vision Staples
Alignment: Getting everyone on the same page.
North Star: The ultimate guiding goal.
Synergy: The magic that happens when 1+1 equals 3.
Blue Sky Thinking: Creative ideas without constraints.
Roadmap: The plan to get from A to B.
Core Competencies: What you’re actually good at.
Mission-Critical: Something that cannot fail.
Pivoting: Changing direction (usually because the first plan failed).
Scalability: The ability to grow without breaking.
Value Proposition: Why anyone should care about what you’re doing.
Future-Proofing: Trying to anticipate what’s next.
Big Picture: Looking beyond the daily grind.
Ecosystem: The environment your business lives in.
Disruption: Shaking up an established industry.
Holistic: Looking at the “whole” instead of just parts.
High-Level: A broad overview without the “weeds.”
Strategic Imperative: A fancy way to say “we have to do this.”
Paradigms: A typical pattern or model.
Benchmarks: The standards you measure against.
Objectives: The things you want to achieve.
2. The Execution & Action Words
Deliverables: The actual stuff you produce.
Bandwidth: Do you have the time/energy for this?
Low-Hanging Fruit: The easy wins.
Actionable: Something you can actually do.
Leverage: Using a tool or resource to get more results.
Optimize: Making something as efficient as possible.
Streamline: Cutting out the fluff.
Agile: Being flexible and fast.
Iterate: Trying, failing, and trying again.
KPIs (Key Performance Indicators): The numbers that prove you’re working.
Buy-in: Getting others to agree with your idea.
Stakeholder Management: Keeping the important people happy.
Bandwidth: Mental or physical capacity.
Best Practices: The “correct” way to do things.
Optimization: Peak efficiency.
Bottleneck: Where the work gets stuck.
Execution: Actually doing the work.
Frictionless: Making a process as easy as possible.
Operationalize: Turning a vague idea into a working process.
Traction: Seeing actual progress.
3. The People & Culture Terms
Empowerment: Giving employees the power to make decisions.
Servant Leadership: Leading by helping your team.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Being aware of feelings (yours and theirs).
Psychological Safety: An environment where people feel safe to speak up.
Company DNA: The fundamental values of the business.
Thought Leader: Someone who has “expert” opinions.
Change Agent: Someone who pushes for transformation.
Inclusion: Making sure everyone feels they belong.
Culture Fit: Whether a person matches the “vibe” of the office.
Mentorship: Helping others grow.
Onboarding: Bringing a new person into the fold.
Retention: Keeping your employees from quitting.
Human Capital: The value of the people in the company.
Authenticity: Being “real” (or at least appearing to be).
Collaboration: Working together.
Upskilling: Teaching employees new tricks.
Work-Life Integration: A modern way of saying “work-life balance.”
Touchpoint: A quick meeting or check-in.
Radical Candor: Being honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Cross-Functional: Working with people from different departments.
4. Innovation & Growth Language
Ideation: The process of coming up with ideas.
Game-Changer: Something that alters the industry.
Lean: Doing more with less.
Incubate: Developing an idea over time.
First-Mover Advantage: Being the first to do something.
Disruptor: A company or person that breaks the mold.
Growth Mindset: Believing you can always improve.
Fail Fast: Learning from mistakes quickly.
Synergize: To combine forces for a greater effect.
Paradigm Shift: A fundamental change in approach.
Out of the Box: Thinking creatively.
Deep Dive: Looking into the fine details.
Transformation: Massive organizational change.
Foresight: Predicting future trends.
Agility: The speed of adaptation.
Incentivize: Giving people a reason to do something.
Vanguard: Being at the forefront of a movement.
Nimble: Quick and light in movement or action.
Hyper-growth: Extremely rapid company expansion.
Best-in-Class: The absolute top of the field.
5. Management & Result Jargon
Moving the Needle: Making a noticeable difference.
Bottom Line: The final result or profit.
ROI (Return on Investment): Was it worth the money?
Verticals: Specific market segments.
Granularity: The level of detail.
Visibility: How much you can see of a process.
Accountability: Taking responsibility for results.
Transparency: Being open about what’s happening.
Bandwidth: (Yes, it’s used this much).
Circle Back: We’ll talk about this later.
Take it Offline: Let’s stop talking about this in front of everyone.
Drill Down: Look at the data more closely.
Sustainability: Can we keep doing this long-term?
Efficiency: Maximizing output with minimal input.
Standardization: Making everything the same.
Value-Add: Something extra that makes a product better.
Metric-Driven: Making decisions based on data.
Governance: The rules and systems of management.
Outcome-Oriented: Focusing on the result, not the process.
Win-Win: A result that benefits everyone.
This is a satire post :)
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Cheers! Happy posting.